Help! I’ve just been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder… A reference list

Help! I’ve just been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder… A reference list

Day in the life of a Busy Gal...

I know how you feel!

When I was first diagnosed with Borderline personality Disorder I panicked I had never heard of it, didn’t have a clue what it meant – so the first thing I did was Google it! Scary stuff! The first thing I read was the Wikipedia entry for BPD and while it made disturbing reading I was at the same time checking off all the things it said that matched me – pretty much everything! It confirmed to me that it was clearly an accurate diagnosis but I still had no clue where to look for accurate, helpful information. Having now read a lot about BPD myself I thought it would be helpful to share a variety of the resources that I have found helpful, hence this post…

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What holds us back from talking to someone who is suicidal

Life in a Bind - BPD and me

The ‘National Attitudes to Mental Illness’ survey, carried out annually since 2003,  has shown a very encouraging shift in the attitudes of people in the UK towards those with mental illness. According to the mental health charity Mind, since the launch of the current Time to Change campaign in 2011, an estimated two million people (almost five per cent of the population) have improved in their perceptions of mental illness. More people than ever before are admitting to knowing someone with a mental health problem (more than 6o% of those surveyed in 2013) – and yet, almost half of respondents still say they would feel uncomfortable talking to an employer about their mental health difficulties.

The evidence of a general increase in tolerance is persuasive, and the worries individuals still have about trusting in that tolerance when it comes to their employer (a worry that I have to say…

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8 ways to get out of a negative rut

8 ways to get out of a negative rut

Maybe you just haven’t been happy at work lately (ugh, why did she get that promotion over you?!). Or your relationship with your BF has become seriously stale and that’s gotten you feeling really down. Left alone, those thoughts can multiply faster than rabbits. And then, before you know it, you’re in this major negativity rut and it feels like you’ll never get out. Luckily, there are a few easy things you can do to step right back into the light. Follow these positivity-boosting tips straight from the pros:

1. Acknowledge the Rut
While you can’t reasonably expect every day to be filled with sunshine and Beyoncé, the first step to hoisting yourself out of a rut is to acknowledge you’re in one in the first place. A negative feeling is like a floating pool toy—”it won’t stay underwater, it’s going to pop up again,” says Andrea Brandt, Ph.D., a therapist in Santa Monica, California. Instead of trying to bury that feeling, examine it—but do so mindfully. “When you stop overanalyzing, you can think more clearly,” says Brandt. Then, you might be able to figure out where the problem stems from and work from there.

2. Get Writing
Keep a gratitude journal, and every night before you go to bed, write down three to five things you’re grateful for—your mom’s hilarious texts, new episodes of Scandal being added to Netflix, your adorable cat—anything, really. Try it for two weeks, and you should start to feel a difference, says Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., a psychotherapist and author of 100 Ways to Boost Self-Confidence. Writing can also help you get the negative thoughts out of your mind and onto paper, which can help with the acknowledgement process. “It will show you what’s in your head,” says Goldsmith.

3. Incorporate the Word ‘Some’
Add the word “some” before the blah thoughts in your mind. It can transform ‘things don’t work out for me’ to ‘some things don’t work out for me,’ for example. “The thing about speaking in absolutes is that they take on this authority that they don’t really deserve,” says Tamar Chansky, Ph.D, author of Freeing Your Child from Anxiety. “When you start to see that it’s more of a mixed picture, you begin to feel like the light is breaking through.”

4. Go for Neutral
“Research has found that people who are not depressed don’t have more positive thoughts, they just have fewer negative thoughts,” says Chansky. So if you can cut the gloomy thoughts’ supply line, you can more easily break out of the rut. To put this into practice, make a list. In the left column, write out three negative thoughts and in the right column, write three less negative, more-neutral versions of those ideas, says Brandt.

5. Shift Your Focus Outward
Making someone else feel good will have a ripple effect. So go ahead, make your grandmother’s day and send her a letter, or send out some thank-you notes. Being positive for someone else often leads you to reap those benefits, as well (score!). “Just by shifting that focus outward, it opens up another realm in your mind that’s much more positive,” says Chansky. “When we are generous and compassionate, the first people who benefit are ourselves.”

6. Invite People in
Being open with your closes confidants about what is bothering you, from a messy house to financial troubles, will make you realize you’re not flying solo, says Chansky.

7. Only Compare Yourself to Yourself
Listen for when you’re comparing yourself to others, and then realize that you’re comparing a hyper criticized version of you to an exaggeratedly optimistic version of them. Okay, done? Now stop it! “When you compare yourself to other people, you’re not having a realistic view of the other person,” says Chansky. “A lot of times, negative ruts happen because we set ourselves up for failure…because our goals are way too big or not framed in a way that they are something we can control.” To set yourself up for success, compare you to you in terms of goal progress. Identify small steps so you’ll get that feeling of accomplishment several times along the way.

8. Get Dressed Up
Even if you have nothing to do or you work from home, slipping on an outfit you feel good about can lift your spirits. “Then, at least you’re ready for whatever happens,” says Goldsmith.

The bottom line: Everyone gets into a slump from time to time—but it doesn’t have to be that way forever. Making a few small changes can have a huge impact on your outlook. (Just remember: If the blues persist for more than a few weeks, you may need to consult a professional for help.)

Sleep and your skin


January 21, 2014

In my patient history form, I ask about sleep – how well do you sleep?  If you do not sleep well, why not?  I ask these questions partly because it gives me insight into who you are as a person, but also because I think lack of good quality sleep or not enough quantity sleep has a negative impact on overall health, including the health of the largest organ in the body, and my personal favorite organ, the SKIN!

Yes, it is true that different people need different amounts of sleep.  But the Harvard Public Health Nurses study showed that people who regularly got 6 hours or less a night were at higher risk of DEATH from all causes, including breast cancer, heart attack, and stroke.

Other findings:

-People who are sleep-deprived have elevated levels of substances in the blood that indicate a heightened state of inflammation in the body, which has also recently emerged as a major risk factor for heart disease, stroke, cancer and diabetes.

-Sleep deprivation quickly disrupts normal levels of the hormones ghrelin and leptin, which regulate appetite. A recent study of nearly 10,000 adults found that those between the ages of 32 and 49 who sleep less than seven hours a night are significantly more likely to be obese.

So……How does this all affect your skin??????

-most skin conditions are at least in part inflammatory, so I always tell patients to be the least inflammatory person they can be. Sleep, in addition to a healthful diet, exercise, and managing stress can all decrease inflammation in the body, including the skin

-a higher body-mass index is linked with worse psoriasis as well as worse acne.  If you are having a hard time losing weight, look at whether you are sleeping enough

– sleep loss also causes the body to release too little human growth hormone. When we’re young, human growth hormone promotes growth. As we age, it helps increase muscle mass, thicken skin, and strengthen bones.  It is during deep sleep that growth hormone is released

-when you don’t get enough sleep, your body releases more of the stress hormone cortisol. This leads to a whole inflammatory cascade, which can

increase insulin-like-growth factor which acts on the sebaceous (oil) glands and stimulates them, leading to more acne
increase matrix metalloproteinases, which break down collagen and elastic tissue, leading to more wrinkles, and sallow skin -EEEEEKKKKKK

There is so much fascinating research on the importance of sufficient quantity and good quality sleep on health – including the fields of cancer,  brain function, diabetes, and heart disease.  This blog entry was meant to remind people that sleep is NEVER a waste of time, that you need it,  to encourage you to read more about it, and to think about lack of sleep if you feel like your skin-health is sub-optimal.

Cybele Fishman, MD

My birth chart

Birth Chart

This birth chart report shows the positions of the planets for Kristie .

The Sun represents vitality, a sense of individuality and outward-shining creative energy.

Sun in Cancer

Sun in Cancer natives have a strong survival instinct. They are protective of those they care about, and of themselves too. They are often quite reticent about sharing their inner selves to the rest of the world, and are often caught up in reminisce. Cancers have a reputation for moodiness, although this trait is most evident when the Moon is in Cancer. Cancer needs roots. They resist change to an extent, and concern themselves about being secure and safe in most everything they do. Cancers can be quite intrigued by objects with history attached to them — antiques, photos, souvenirs, and the like.

Cancer is a very sensitive sign, and they don’t always appreciate it when you are blunt with them. Their reactions to hurt will depend on how thick a shell they have developed. Most Cancers react by withdrawing or retreating. Some have developed an ability to manipulate others to get what they want. They avoid direct confrontations almost as a rule. Cancers are, in fact, quite yielding and soft when you have them in the right mood. They are one of the more hospitable signs of the zodiac. Sure, they can be touchy and indirect, but they are also very dependable, caring souls.

Short description:

She weighs words carefully and is tenacious. A calm and discreet nature, tender, thoughtful, sensitive and impressionable.

Weaknesses: She is humble, timid, changeable, indecisive, lazy, over-sensitive. Easily influenced by the family and sometimes manipulative.

463 Conjunction Sun – Mercury

Because your ego and your mind are aligned, you possess much mental energy. You are always in a position to think about what you want, and in many ways, this is an interruption of the will. You are highly intelligent with a great drive to communicate with other. You invest a lot of pride in your intellectual capacities. You may not always listen as well as you speak, however! You might be too busy thinking about what to say next. But you are very curious and although you enjoy expressing yourself, you usually don’t dominate conversations completely. As far as studying or learning goes, you are better off reading the material than listening to a teacher. These traits come from a strong need to take an active role in communications. It is very hard for you to passively listen and absorb information.

Your opinions are usually strong and you are an independent thinker. You tend to be proud of your opinions and thoughts, and might easily get a bruised ego if you are not “heard”, if your opinions are pushed aside or ignored, or if your opinions are criticized. You are expressive and possibly a very animated speaker. You are also very witty and others enjoy your playful and sometimes mischievous sense of humor.

-8 Opposition Sun – Jupiter

Although your intentions are generally good, you are given to overdoing things. You can easily gloss over realistic details and get yourself into debt, overindulge in pleasures such as food and drink, and promise more than you can deliver. For the most part, you find help for your excesses. Somebody’s there to bail you out, as plenty of people believe that your heart is in the right place. Generally, this is the case, but if excessive behavior becomes a pattern, and you continually face light consequences, there is the danger that you will not learn from your mistakes and abuse the “system”, relying on your friends and family to help you out a little too often. Your reputation for being “good people”, thus, can eventually be used to further your purposes–something that should, of course, be avoided.

However, many people with this aspect don’t fall into the trap of losing their sincerity. You are generous, helpful, and charitable. Still, the tendency to live beyond your means is a real threat that you might struggle with much of your life. Another thing to watch for is depression. You tend to go through periods of intense highs when you are excessively optimistic. These periods are so marked that they seem to be unnatural and a fall seems to be inevitable. You can make promises you intend to keep, but have a problem with follow-through. Self-control can be a real problem. Try to avoid gambling altogether. Usually quite knowledgeable and generous with your time, you have many talents that you might take for granted.

40 Trine Sun – Neptune

There is an unmistakably dreamy, inspired, and sensitive side to you. A marked appreciation for music and the arts is present. The connection of Neptune with the Sun, which represents the ego and the will, certainly softens some of the hard edges that might be found elsewhere in the chart, adding a sensitive and spiritual dimension to your personality. You are naturally compassionate. It is so completely natural for you to accept that there is more to the world than what is before your eyes, that you tend to presume everyone must be spiritually-inclined. Of course, you come to realize that this is not the case at some early point in your life. Your attraction to spirituality and metaphysical subjects is usually marked. These aspects favor writers, artists, and musicians. You are sensitive to those who are suffering, although you are not usually taken advantage of. You are humanitarian and may have a special connection with animals. If other aspects and positions in the chart support it, you are not one to dominate others or assert yourself to the point of brashness. You have a fertile imagination, are full of inspiration, and very emotional – all qualities that you may use on the professional level.

74 Sextile Sun – Pluto

You have much sexual vitality and passion. It is easy and natural for you to find a passion and pursue it, and to focus on a goal. You are not much scared of anything. You enjoy and embrace growth, especially of the psychological kind. You love a good mystery, and you are adept at solving it.You readily assign meaning to what others might consider “ordinary” events. You look for symbols, and read between the lines in most any situation. The physical vitality is generally strong, and the body is usually able to heal quickly. You are not afraid to get your hands dirty, and you are usually quick to help others–not only with mundane tasks, but also on a spiritual or psychological level. Your insight is sharp and sometimes awe-inspiring. You are perceptive and not easily rattled or surprised in life. You are not a do-gooder nor are you a law-breaker. However, you are not afraid of the “dark side” of human nature, and you will bend the rules from time to time if you feel the need to do so. You take particular pleasure in growth and life’s lessons. You are not fond of superficiality, and are generally the first to spot pretense of any kind. You are passionate and can be intense. You have a hunger to experience more than just an “ordinary” life, and you can be quite ambitious. Some people with this aspect are perfectionists, demanding much from themselves and reasonable amounts of effort and honesty from others.

The Moon represents the emotional responses, unconscious pre-destination, and the self-image.

Moon in Aries

Nothing quite happens soon enough with this position of the Moon. There is an inherent impatience with getting what they want. Life is a series of emergencies for Lunar Ariens. They live in the moment and have a hard time waiting for things to happen. Whims of the moment take absolute precedence in their lives. This is a fiery position of the moon. Even if the Sun or rising sign is more low-key, Moon in Aries people possess inner passion and fire. Emotional issues take precedence–there is simply no pussy-footing around when it comes to dealing with the feelings. And, dealing with new sentiments and needs stirs up a huge desire for activity. Moon in Aries has a need for acting out their needs, with no time to waste. It is hard for them to see the long-term, or to wait for things to happen. Instant gratification rules!

Oddly enough, this is a very defensive position of the Moon. These natives take things very personally, and they deal with problems by facing them right away so that they can then get on with other things. Their flare-ups generally end almost as quickly as they started. Lunar Ariens have an unmistakable independent streak. They put themselves right out there in the world, and make an impression in whatever they do. Their self-confidence is actually variable. Although a strong personality is projected, Moon in Aries people go through plenty of ups and downs. Their moodiness is not like Cancer or Pisces moodiness–they don’t withdraw into themselves or escape the world when they’re down. Instead, they are temperamental. Some might say that people with Moon in Aries actually enjoy trouble and confrontations. Indeed, this position is easily bored with environments that are too peaceful. Their homes–especially their childhood homes–are often battlegrounds. They rule the roost, or at least want to, and are not the most peaceful of folk to live with!

Moon in Aries men and women are prone to have plenty of crushes and other short-lived yet intense desires. “Needs” and “wants” are indistinguishable to Lunar Ariens at any given time. In their minds, what they want is so powerful that it becomes an absolute need. In young adulthood, they can be dangerous with a credit card. Whoever offered the advice to freeze your credit card in a container of water, and then let the block of ice thaw before using the card, unwittingly had people with Moon in Aries in mind. The whole idea was to see if the shopping whim of the moment would pass by the time the card was ready to use. Still, with this scenario, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Moon in Aries hacking away at the ice. That is, if Aries actually takes the advice in the first place!

Others will appreciate that people with Moon in Aries rarely sulk or play any drawn-out games of manipulation. You can pretty much know what they want at any given time. They are generally ruled by their own emotional needs, and they’re not always as concerned about others’ needs during these “emergencies”. Somehow, they have people around them scrambling to help them solve their problems. There’s an aura of childlike innocence around Lunar Ariens, even when they’re getting their way again, that can be charming indeed!

-17 Square Moon – Mercury

There is a conflict here between the head and the heart. Your emotions tell you one thing and your mind tells you something else. The result is a see-saw effect: you can be emotional to the point of irrationality at one moment, and logical the next. How to blend the head and the heart is a constant struggle for you, usually because you have a tendency to resist blending them! You love to chat, enjoy story-telling and writing/poetry, sometimes enjoy bending the truth, and you possess a sparkling wit! You are animated when you speak, and have a sense of humor that others appreciate simply because it’s very imaginative. You may be especially adept at satire. People can usually read your mood by how much you’re talking. When nervous or excitable, you talk up a storm. Moodiness is a characteristic, definitely, and an especially subjective nature makes you prone to hypersensitivity. It usually has to do with the fact that you take in so very much from your environment. This is also one of the reasons why you tend to be indecisive. You may swing between irrational and rational thoughts and feelings. It’s pretty much something that takes place “upstairs” in the mind, although others are sure to see the struggle from time to time. You are always interesting, and usually funny. You have a tendency to misrepresent yourself with what you say from time to time, but you’re a charming, if a little kooky, friend.

34 Trine Moon – Venus

You are generally amiable and project a soft and yielding manner. You possess natural charm and you are highly imaginative and sympathetic. You can make an excellent mediator and go-between. You are keenly aware of your need for relationships and for intimacy. You have a well-developed respect for qualities typically associated with the feminine. People appreciate you for your tender heart and friendly, diplomatic disposition. You should enjoy a good measure of personal popularity and success in your life. Although generally considered “lucky” with relationships and with money, this is less about luck than it is about a certain level of inner peace and positive energy that attracts pleasant situations. At times you can be complacent, downright lazy, and over-indulgent in the “pleasures” of life. However, you are a peace-maker at heart and have an unusual ability to help and heal others. You are gracious and warm.

239 Conjunction Moon – Mars

You are a passionate person who loves life. Although your emotions are powerful and immediate, your passion is generally controlled and directed. You are a sexual person who nevertheless doesn’t get too carried away or controlled by your passions. Because your emotions are strong and you know how to channel them into constructive channels, you don’t easily understand such things as “crimes of passion”, impulsive behaviors, or emotional excitability in others. You’re generally open, accepting, and natural in your sexual expression. You need an emotional connection in order to feel complete on a physical level. You may have an affection and talent for sports, but other factors in the natal chart are necessary to provide the motivation and commitment.

Short description: She is frank, honest, full of vigor and ambition. She is strong-willed and powerful at work. She is a little hard on herself but, above all, on others whose capacity for action is not as great.

-205 Opposition Moon – Uranus

She has a feverish, non-constructive restlessness. She is too susceptible. Her life is full of change. She is irritable and stubborn at times due to an inner restlessness that is hard to satisfy. She has difficulty concentrating on a job. Nervous strain. Her friendships are like her professional and love life – sometimes unstable. There is a strong need for closeness, but when people get too close, she gets cagey, as she values personal freedom just as much.

Mercury represents communication, Cartesian and logical spirit.

Mercury in Cancer

She communicates with feeling, endearing others with words. She is reflective and has one of the best memories around. She feels people out and is quick to pick up emotions and moods. She is discerning and is full of insight, is lucid, and thinks things through. She likes to please and to create a good impression. There can be a strong tendency to be influenced by those around her.

Venus represents an interest for emotions and values, exchange and sharing with others.

Venus in Leo

When Venus in Leo people are in love, they are proud, even boastful. This position of Venus can turn humble Virgo Suns or retiring Cancer Suns into somewhat demanding lovers. Venus in Leo loves to court and be courted, and they need to feel very special. They are warm, generous, and even grand. Though really quite loyal to their partners (remember that love is THE most important thing in Leo’s life), they thrive on attention from the opposite sex. Be prepared for their displays: they will tell you about any advances members of the opposite sex make on them. Remember, they’re just showing off to you, and it’s likely harmless. It’s a different story if you do the same, however. That’s when you’ll hear the lion roar…and, no doubt, you’ll want to keep these cats purring. Venus in Leo wants to appear experienced in love, even if they have little or no experience whatsoever!

Venus in Leo men and women have high expectations, but once you know that these expectations revolve only around how much attention you are giving them, you’ll see that they are really quite big-hearted about most everything else. They are threatened by a relationship that appears to have settled too much, or one that’s lost its spark. They are also threatened by indifferent or impersonal behavior on your part. Although their needs for physical expression through sex are generally quite strong, their need for love is perhaps even stronger. It is hard for Venus in Leo people to separate love and sex, and even their most erotic fantasies are infused with love and affection. For this reason, few Venus in Leo folk would last long in a relationship that is mostly sexual. On the flip side, they may last longer in a love-only relationship in the absence of satisfying sex, but they are unlikely to feel very satisfied.

Pleasing Venus in Leo involves paying loads of attention to them. If you’re willing to make only one adjustment in your ways, it should be to remind Leo how wonderful they are. Respect and appreciate them, always. Put up with their childlike moments and their tall tales. They want to be seen as attractive by you, so avoid (at all costs!) putting them down in this area. They actually lose interest when they perceive the slightest loss of interest in their partner, and you can expect that any letdown will be acted out in a dramatic fashion. Remind them, in a gentle way, that your emotions count too. If you are feeling a little jealous, let them know. Remember, to Venus in Leo, your small jealousies are affirmations that you find them attractive and expect the rest of the world to as well. Let them decide where to go on a date, and let them pay too. When Venus in Leo feels loved and appreciated, they reward you with loyalty, a big sense of fun, and plenty of physical expressions of their love.

Short description:

Sincere, frank and warm affections. She is full of tenderness. High hopes in love. She likes to live and satisfy her passions to the fullest. Can be possessive and might even seduce for the sake of seducing to prove to herself that she is attractive. Very proud in love, and warm-hearted and generous with loved ones.

14 Trine Venus – Mars

She is amorous, not a peaceful and calm lover but a passionate one with a strong temperament. She is demonstrative in love, and likes healthy pleasures. She enjoys life to the full.

111 Sextile Venus – Saturn

She has a good grasp of reality and of duty. She is thrifty, reserved and does not show off. She likes truth and justice. In love, her sentiments are sincere and deep, she never plays false. She is, of course, faithful in love and friendship. She can love a much older person and appreciates her intelligence and good sense.

Mars represents the desire for action and physical energy

Mars in Aries

This is a very impulsive position of Mars. The first instinct for Mars in Aries people is to take action. Quick flare-ups characterize the Mars in Aries character, but their anger usually doesn’t last for too long. In fact, these people generally don’t live in the past, and are not given to holding grudges or feeling resentful. Generally, their temper comes quickly, and they deal with anger on issues right away–with this kind of character, there is little room for festering. When Mars in Aries people listen to their instincts, they generally get things done, and they make fast and (usually) decent decisions. They don’t naturally stop to smell the roses–or consider others’ point of view–when they are deliberating over what to do next. In fact, “deliberation” works at lightning speed for these natives, so they could hardly be called deliberate. Spontaneity is one of their assets; as are simplicity, purity of action, and innovation.

Mars in Aries natives are often a step ahead of the rest of us. A life that is too predictable makes them antsy. Mars in Aries people enjoy starting fresh–new ideas, pioneering action, and fresh projects make them happiest. They generally enjoy challenges. Relationships with these natives can be exciting, but keeping up with them can be difficult. They are given to impulsive action, and they are not known for sticking things through. Although their physical energy is great, they can lose their initial enthusiasm quickly. Mars in Aries natives are easily irritated by indirectness from others. They expect others to say things straight–no beating around the bush. They easily become impatient with convoluted plans, or with people they consider to be slow to action. Most people with this position of Mars have a childlike quality to them. Sometimes they’re downright rude and impatient, but with Mars in Aries natives, you generally know what they’re after. Unless Mars is afflicted in the chart, you can also pretty much trust that they don’t have hidden agendas.

-265 Opposition Mars – Uranus

She is full of contradictions. She is original, tending to the eccentric, violent, headstrong, impatient and irascible. She fights to the bitter end to overcome hurdles, and has the strength to overcome them.

Jupiter represents expansion and grace.

Jupiter in Aquarius

She attracts the most good fortune when she is tolerant and fair, inventive, impartial, and cooperative. Values people and personal freedom most. Wants to show unique perspective or skills. Open to new methods and progress. Great tolerance and humanitarianism.

21 Sextile Jupiter – Neptune

She is very generous and altruistic, helping people in difficulty or sick people. She knows how to listen or, at least, how to give that impression. She is a dreamer, with lots of imagination: she likes the Arts.

14 Trine Jupiter – Pluto

She likes to direct, is intelligent and is an organizer of the first order.

Saturn represents contraction and effort.

Saturn in Gemini

May be somewhat self-conscious and avoids small talk. Finds making light acquaintances superficial. Possesses a serious mind, sometimes wishing to be more free and breezy.

-22 Square Saturn – Pluto

She is not open to others’ ideas, especially if they are free-thinking. She is an egoist and has a narrow mind.

Uranus represents individual liberty, egoistic liberty.

Uranus in Libra

Well-developed artistic leanings. Her balance can be upset by too great an independence.

Neptune represents transcendental liberty, non-egoistic liberty.

Neptune in Sagittarius

Likes long voyages, things foreign, water.

20 Sextile Neptune – Pluto

Pluto represents transformations, mutations and elimination.

Pluto in Libra

Looks for new ways to relate to others.

House I is the area of self identity. The ascendant is a symbol of how one acts in life. It is the image of the personality as seen by others, and the attitude that one has towards life.

House II is the area of material security and values. It rules money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions.

House III is the area of social and intellectual learning.

House IV is the area of home, family, roots, and deep emotions/sense of self-worth.

House V is the area of creative self-expression, romance, entertainment, children, and gambling.

House VI is the area of learning by material transaction.

House VII is the area of one-to-one relationships such as marriage and partnership, and of social and intellectual action.

House VIII is the area of emotional security and of security of the soul.

House IX is the area of learning that shapes the identity.

House X is the area of material action. The Mid-heaven represents the work one will do in his life, the place one will take in the world of society. It becomes more important as one grows older

House XI is the area of search for social and intellectual security.

House XII is the area of education and of emotion.

Could’ve, Should’ve and Would’ve

The Society For Recovering Doormats

If could’ve, should’ve and would’ve are part of your daily inner dialogue then it’s time to       stop beating yourselfup. Regrets about what you might have done differently or how things evolved is a waste of emotional energy and a form of self abuse.   Especially, when you put yourself front and center, accepting blame then self punish.  Cut yourself some major slack, and stop beating yourself up!Be nice to yourself

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